YOU'RE NOT DETERMINED BY HOW YOU LOOK OR HOW YOU DRESS UP OR WHAT TALENT YOU HAVE. IT'S YOUR IDENTITY IN GOD THAT MATTERS, NOT HOW YOU WANT THE WORLD TO SEE YOU.

youths, I've been through a stage where everything physical matter. I've been through a stage where I alter myself to be like someone else. I've been through the pain and struggle just to make myself feel accepted. and I know, I clearly know that I'm not the only one who have been or are going through that stage. I have trampled myself in the dirt and deadly sins. I face identity crisis and very honestly speaking, I'm still having identity crisis at times. I still condemn myself for the past mistakes I've made, though I have very much accepted that those mistakes in my past are the ones who made me who I am. however, I've come to term that those mistakes are mine. I need to face the consequences of those mistakes I've made. I am disgusted at it. I confess that I am still disgusted by myself at times when I let my negative thoughts run wild and blind myself from seeing the most core of myself: a princess. I am God's princess. so, even princesses make mistakes and you know what? only from her mistakes that princesses learn. God doesn't transform me immediately the moment I come back to the heart of worship. my life isn't the one that experience a dramatic transformation with awe-striking testimony like how others have it. But I know and I am evidently and gradually receiving an amazing transformation. maybe I've not known it yet. maybe I've not managed to see the sudden and change and stuff. but when I look back, I see small changes that occur from time to time that lead to a big change in my life. I look back and can't stop feeling superduper overwhelmed at how much things God has done in my life. I feel soooooooooooo overwhelmed by His LOVE. it's the kind of love that you can get no where else. love has always been a vital issue in my life. I don't have the big picture and all the details yet but deep down in my heart I know how much role the verb/noun "love" have played, is playing and will play a role in my life. I know how my life only revolve around this word. and I don't have a clear picture yet but over the years, God has shown me little signs everywhere and I believe that the greater things have yet to come.

tonight I'm greatly overwhelmed.
my fingers typed what my mouth can't say on what my heart wants to convey.

pardon for the structure, there's random structure because things in my head float randomly like clouds and I didn't structure whatever is on the paragraph above. it just flows.

♥ 11:45 PM