perfect.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

two and a half year

almost exactly two and a half years ago.

4A '09 finally had a gathering again! About half the class turned out, it's not bad considering that about 1/8 of us are already overseas. Even our dearest form teacher, Mr.Yeo was there. (: Vivo city was where we decided to hold our outing. Well, I wouldn't exactly say that the outing was very fun, since we didn't actually planned any programme. It was just a simple dinner and catching up. Not much changes in everybody else (: It was oh so, nostalgic. Oh, and I finally returned Winston and David their towels after having it for 2 years, since the chalet. It was kinda funny in a way. The chalet made me miss the days in secondary school so much. I can't believe I used to want to graduate quickly last time because I want to see how post-secondary life will turn out. Well, as some people might now, my post-secondary life wasn't exactly sunshines and rainbows.

So someone spoke to me something that gives me an epiphany last night. It wasn't something I don't know of, I just didn't know that it was such a distinct change that arise somebody's attention. Furthermore, someone whom I totally didn't expect it from. But turns out, sometimes the people who actually care aren't those who seems like they do. Ironic. Sometimes when we're close to someone, we're obliged to think that we should care for them. Sometimes then, the care people show feels more like an obligation than a sincere act. But sometimes, people who randomly comes up and show care, really gives me hope. I pondered upon it. Made me realize how much I want to hang out with my classmates again, I miss them so much. Come and think of it, life's short. Better spend time with people who actually mean something than to waste them on people who couldn't care less.

It's nice of you, thank you so much. Your short comment made me reflect, hence causing today to be a much better day than it has been. I realized, I am over those difficult moments, I should move on. Or rather, go back up, to how I used to be, before I was thrown into that pitch dark moments. Thank you for the insight.

Last night too, Annabel metioned something about when will be the next time the 'normal people' meet. Haha. She said that the next time we meet, completely, will be when we are all working. I added that it would probably be when one of the 'normal people' get married. Hahahaha. Indeed, life has changed so much than it was back then. It's not as easy for us to see each other again. But one thing for sure, I dare to say that the friendship remains. And that, is something I'm really thankful for. (:

with love.

♥ 11:51 PM

Monday, April 23, 2012

evasion

There're some things in our lives,

we wish we could evade.

For without these things,

life would be so perfect.

Imagine not having to deal

with certain asphyxiating aspects

of a person.

But, would we ever,

ever ever ever get to that.

Imagine living where ceteris paribus applies.

Not a single setbacks.

But what is life without a setback.

What if someone is pushing you around.

Holding you up then slamming you down, hard, to the ground.

Pulls you up then push you down.

Would you, ever, breakfree.

Or would you stay and let yourself be jerked around?

♥ 7:25 PM

Understand her. In order to understand her now, you must learn about her past and understand that first because her past is what made her who she is now, maybe she’s been hurt so much it’s hard for her to trust so she puts these walls up around her and barricades her heart, she’s afraid that just maybe that if she opens up again that she will end up hurt again and she doesn’t want to go through that phase again. With that being said you have to listen to what she says, get to know what her mind is like, her thoughts are a representation of her feelings. You have to get to know her for who she is and always be honest with her so you can slowly build this trusting relationship with her. Don’t be the guy that doesn’t understand his girlfriend and the way she acts, because you never took the time to learn and understand her past, you know?

♥ 7:22 PM

Friday, April 20, 2012

fallen ashes.

It's funny, how, after I talked about a certain person in the past..

I checked my stats and was surprised and who actually read my blog. I came across this link, of a person who arbitrarily played a part in my life, too. And from that blog, I got across another link. People whom I've come across with, part of my story. But are they really part of my life, if I were to define life as being..alive right now? Then again, am I really alive...or just existing?

♥ 12:33 AM

bye.

Ever get that feeling? Where you err, thought of a random person whom you have not met in a long time. Someone who used to be a part of your old life, maybe in school or something. Someone who was once the reason why you wanted school to finish quickly. But when you look back, you wonder how that person is doing in his/her life right now. You wonder how come things that happened in the past would happen. And then you realize, you just wasted a paragraph talking about something that's not even significant to begin with. You're talking about somebody who didn't make it into your present, whom you didn't even bother about in the past despite whatever he/she was doing to you. Then again, you realized that dealing with him/her has actually made you a better person. And you wonder if that person's mere existence in your life has the purpose of making you better.

hello (:

So here's an update.

The school which interview I thought I'd flunked actually send me a letter of offer for admission. And...I was perplexed the moment I received the e-mail. You actually waited till the morning after I get adamant on my choice of career before sending me the e-mail. =.=" But in a way, I'm glad I got over it. But say I got this e-mail like 3 weeks ago, I probably would have jumped at the offer. Don't know if it's the right decision. But if I were to sacrifice my life for somebody, I would sacrifice it to many people who will need me in the future, than someone who doesn't really need me. So I just rejected it. :) Get 1 more thing clear off my head, so I could focus better in striving towards my goal.

well...that's that.

byebye.

♥ 12:00 AM

Friday, April 13, 2012

chasing rainbows, stars, whatever..

Ever wondered why I haven't posted anything here for sooooooo long?

So many things to do, so little time.......to blog! I don't even check my blog daily anymore...like I used to do in the past. Anyway, so here's an update on what I've been up to.

Decided I would not give up my childhood dream. Decided I'm gonna work hard to pursue it. Decided I'll get as close to it as I could. Yep, despite going through so many rounds of contemplations and feelings of lost..I'm back to where I started. Th

e question is, why do I even want it in the first place. It's always about why you want something in the first place that you even choose to pursue it. It's the same case for every choices we made. How worthy something is depends largely on why YOU made that choice. In spite of not getting the results worthy of my goal, I'm thankful that it's more than worthy of my effort. The effort which I lacklustry put into due to my lost of fo

cus in between. The painful period of stugglings with myself as I forgot to ask myself why I chose that road in the first place. The confusions I've gone through and the time I've wasted. The regrets I should not shed. Now, they're all gone as I decide that I would start over and pursue them all once again. Yep, I can't make the decisi

ons that lay in the future because I'll leave it to the Rieka in the future to decide. But I'll work hard to achieve and shape my future so Rieka in the future would make a consistent with Rieka now. :D

So...firstly I'm taking the IELTS this saturday. Could not pursue the degree of my dream in Singapore, I'll try to get it back in my hometown or overseas. I have no idea how this test is gonna turn out, but I'll leave it all to God. And I won't be sleeping at 2am too. I've been reading up on the structures and tips, hopefully it'll help me on that day.

I've also been revising back my biology stuffs. Yes, not an input to my knowledge but essential for my upcoming entrance test in July. Realised how much I missed these stuffs and the past lessons I've had learning them! Made me reminisce the nostalgi

c moments with 4A 09 :/ Those were the good times.

Another thing, I've got enlisted for an interview for my 3rd choice course and I would really need my bro's help in this thing. Too bad, he's in the army right now, uncontactable. At least I have another bro to help me with the interview skill part. Great! God is good and He always provide. (:

Just sharing something I penned down during the revision for the last few papers of A levels. Yeap, that's that.

Heybestfriend,sowehaven'tbeentalkingforquitelongthesedays.justreadyourblog.

gottaletyouknowthat.

youarenotalone.

♥ 2:27 AM

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

if only people know how to repent when they make mistake, things would get so much better.

or if people were to be consistent about their sayings and their actions.

but.

if only I haven't been so idealistic and so forgetful that one does not simply change something that one does not think is worth changing for,

I would have been so much happier.

♥ 5:11 PM