I want people to cuddle me to bed tonight.

):

I want my mummy to tell me,
I'm a good girl.
I help other people when they need me.
Hey mummy, I help that old lady carry her bags of groceries today.
I donated money to the old man begging on the bridge.
I didn't burst out in anger when I got shouted at.
I didn't cry when I'm left alone right
I didn't complain when I am told to sacrifice my room,
nor did I complain when people use my stuffs without permission.
Am I not a good girl?
When I was young you told me not to lie, not to do bad things,
not to take other people's thing without permission, to put others before self.
I'm 18 but I feel that never once I got told : you're a good girl.
Today someone called me bad again.
When I complained to you that someone called me bad, all you say is don't care about what other people say about me as long as I'm good to them.
But how do I know when I'm good when you never even tell me that I'm a good girl.
Am I ever one in the first place?
You noticed me when I do wrong,
how about the time when I try my best to change my actions?
Is it invisible?
How come you never knew that I'm suffering in where I'm living right now?
I'm 18 mummy, I don't need someone to call me everyday to make sure I'm going home.
If you really care, I'd rather you give me a short overseas call or bbm me instead.
I don't want someone like her to intrude into all my matters.
If you really care, you will understand.

♥ 9:21 PM

even simpler, you can just paint it white.

simple as that.

♥ 12:42 AM

this is what they told me.
they told me that I'm a piece of white paper.
what's the benefit of bring a piece of white paper?
A piece of white paper is untainted. It's pure. It's unstained. And most importantly, you can draw on it. There're lotsa space for you to draw. You can paint it, with whatever color you want. You get a result you want to achieve without any intervention.


but do you know, you can bleach a stained paper to get it back to white colour again?

♥ 3:15 PM

when it's not worth dying for.

hi!
do you have dreams? like a wish or a passion that you're dying to pursue. something you really really want.
want to know how it feels like when one of your dreams come true? :D
it's like, dreaming. I have no idea what is happening in my life right now, it just feels so surreal.
Is this an overcompensation by God for all that happened in the past?
I've always believed in this sentence: if you wish for something, believe that you're gonna get it and if you believe hard enough, your wish will come true.
Perhaps this really applies in my life?
"Ask and it will be given to you"
(:

Am I too uptight? D:
someone told me I should take up yoga or something to relax. and let go of things I havent let go. hahahahahahaha! come on, look at me. I laugh so much and am so happy. my life rox ttm! (y)

♥ 9:35 PM

Dear Father,
thank you for all the recent blessings that you have given me. I hope that I will be reminded to spread all of your blessings to those around me. This sudden flood of blessing is really incredible. :) Just shows how great the Father is.


I think I screwed up all of my CA1. So I'm failing all subjects except for physics. I think I can pass but will not do well. Somehow I already lost at least 7marks for that paper ): haih. but no worries! I am gonna do well for SA1. Must get back that motivation that I lost in September last year. /ok .


I can't believe I am experiencing this. This is like a dream come true for me. I really wonder how on earth I get this opportunity to do something I've been dreaming of for years. :) super happy about it! Although it's really tiring and time consuming but I really, really enjoy doing it. It's incredibly awesome :) YAYY! I'm a happy girl today.

Class hasn't been too bad recently. At least, those people who disliked me last year are not giving me hard time in class anymore. Perhaps because of the CT :) yayy CT is funny to make fun of but CT respects me so I feel like I belong to this class. :D


hi, mind you. I am still that person who know your biggest secret. bitch.

♥ 11:48 PM

the world is your runway
-marc jacobs


I hope I made the right decision(:

So far, everything's been good after you go away.
except for wednesdays.
lalalalala


So apart from GP and econs, I'm also gonna fail chem and maths. yay rieka! what're you thinking huh =.=" 1 more CA1 paper left: physics. Which is also my most confident subject. At least I know that I have confidence in this paper. But the rest of the papers were totally screwed )=
Friday's friendship carnival was a bit boring, but what happened after was fun! Dine with the ahbangs of og16 and they were really funny. Especially this particular ahbang named Weijie. -.- my ogms are sooooo cute! ^^
somehow, I am so glad that I took this og. along with great ogl partners like sharon,keith and moses. Although moses doesnt really go out with us -.- Hope the og will stay bonded! :D

gonna leave for FA now. I'll continue asking God to give me the strength to carry on. And manage th time better. Because I've made the decision already.
:)
Can't wait for Tuesday!

♥ 10:12 AM

I feel like praising the Lord for everything that has happened.
He has a plan for me I know (:

You know, one thing about not having a roommate is that you have your own personal space. It's like a sanctuary for you to hide from the cold and cruel world outside.
However, one thing about having your roommate overseas for one week: you'll miss the mess she created in the room and her talking about stuffs that will keep you from thinking about stuffs you don't wanna think about.

econs test super screwed!
gp test super screwed!
better secure maths and maybe chem.
when did I turn this way? aiming to pass instead of aiming for As?
who are you and what have you done to rieka.
):

and after so long, i finally touch guitar again. after like 4months lol

♥ 7:20 PM

happy vday!
thank you all who made my day so awesome and fun and half-blinded. ( so my right contact lens broke inside council room while i was collecting balloons for my class just now )
=.=
I hope everyone likes the present and the OG loves the balloons :)
how come we OGLs never get anything from you guys huh!?

The ironic thing about today: I was having a bad hair day in the morning so I decided to pull everything up and pin them with various different pins. to cover my BAD hair day. Yet when I come to school today everyone was like : hey your hair looks super nice today! cute! etc etc etc.. you can guess the response. totally opposite of what i was expecting. haha!

I think my sisssy has finally turned into a bro today! congratz sissssy! I wanna know the WHOLE story. :D

and gosh, you know what? I'm so gonna flunk CA1.
byebye CA1. )=
I need a motivation to study!

♥ 12:06 AM

I was walking home yesterday, after an hour of tuition which was supposed to be 2hours.
I was about to cross the road under the scorching hot sun, when the construction truck slowly drove in front of me, the construction worker refuses to let us cross.
I was lethargic.
The sign for us to walk was left with a few seconds when the construction worker instruct us to cross.
Most people crossed and stopped in the middle of the road divider.
I dash across the traffic light, ignoring the cars that were charging towards me, ignoring the shoutings.
Less than a meter more, it was so close (:


What's with the angsty feeling? I haven't had that for a pretty long time already. Everything was so fine, wasn't it? Everything's perfect, no spots anywhere. (unless if you look closely enough)
Will everything fall and crumble down even if I'm holding on?

God please make a way.
I'm leaving all in your hand Father.
Jesus, take the wheel.

♥ 5:56 PM

Let's continue the story of ms.rapunzel...

living in the solitary castle all by herself,
nothing can stop her from being curious when one fine day,
a lonely wanderer came across her castle.

tbc.

♥ 1:08 AM

hi! today's CCA exhibition in school is so awesome! :)

♥ 9:43 PM

Dear God,

thank you for tuesdays. thank you for giving tuesday in a week (:
thank you for sharon salim (:
today has been th best day of the month so far.
it's been so long since I last talk my heart out to someone without someone judging me or telling me what they think is right for me, just listen to what i talked about.
it's th first time I opened myself up to someone after years.
I believe you have a purpose in putting her into my life, I'll find out sooner or later.
(:

L,
Rieka

♥ 1:05 AM