I want to share what I wrote 2 days ago in my personal diary, here.

1. I procrastinate, even to the extent of putting problems aside till they get urgent.

2. I got jealous easily

3. I'm over-critical of myself

4. I usually neglect myself when I do something for others

5. I have a really really really messy room back in singapore

....in fact, can I add on that sometimes I put myself in a very busy and 'workaholic' state just so that I can forget my problem?

1. I bathe everyday

2. I brush my teeth everyday

3. I pray before every meal

4. I take commitment for my words and usually put in effort to fulfill them

5. I make friends with people pretty easily

And you know what? I took much longer time figuring out what to write under the 'good habits' as compared to the 'bad habits' category. Try doing this test to yourself, write 5 good habits and 5 bad habits of yours each. See which category would be more difficult to complete for you. I would confidently say more would find that it is easier to write down your bad habits than your good ones.

Why is that so?

We live in a society that's highly judgemental and critical. As I've written earlier, I'm one of those people who are over-critical of myself. This cause me to be pretty judgemental about others as well, sometimes. For instance, seeing a dude who smoke, has piercing and dress sloppily, I would most definitely classify that dude as an 'ahbeng' . If you live in Singapore, you would have known that they are members of gangs who involve themselves in activities that break the laws. Hence, I've created a prejudice ( pre-judge ) against those who dressed up the same way too, when in fact, they could actually be nice people who possessed different behaviour from a gang member.

Anyway, the point is that due to judgements from societies and expectations from parents, we are more often than not, taking in negativity from our surroundings. Our hearts are more affected by negative thoughts. Our sights are more sensitive to negative scenes and negative words infiltrate our ears more easily. THESE ARE BAD! I mean, it is good if we have filters and we could turn negativity into positivity. However, most of the times, we don't. We became polluted and we tend to see things in a more negative way. Hence, we condemned ourselves and we take notice of our flaws more than our qualities.

From there, you can see why is it easier for us to get associated with our bad habits than our good ones. :/

uh oh.. if that's the case then how do we change?

There are definitely more than one way.

Firstly, is to have a filter. For example, by being a Christian, prayer can be your daily filter, allowing the right mindset to be inflicted into your head.

Another form of filter could be your parents, but in my opinion, to be very very very honest, parents could be a double-edged sword. They can build us with good values and teaching, but sometimes they also destruct us with too much..______ whatever that is, each people have different experiences and I wouldn't say mine out loud here.. haha!

Next, is to forever be aware of our stand. But again, this is really hard. It depends on each individual too. Those people who are self-motivated (unlike of me -__-) could always remind themselves and depend of themselves to change. Yet for some people(like me) I usually need other's support and encouragement to remind myself. For example, people need to constantly remind me that I'm _____ so that I will not go into a deep _____ state. To avoid being dependent on the wrong people, again, make group of friends whom you can really trust and are spiritually more mature so you will not be afraid to make mistakes and not have someone teach you how to correct them.

This is a pretty long post after another session of stagnation :( I promise I will write okay!

But now, time for some ride around the street :P

toodles!