pocky princess

season.

2012-02-13T11:19:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I had a counselling session with a senior at church. To be told here, will be too long a story. haha. But I wanna share here is what my senior told me. I've learned to open up, it is probably one thing I learn in 2011 with the help of some people. What I was told is that, this is a breakthrough! So I should celebrate by doing something I like today. So today, I'm writting.

I want to share what I wrote 2 days ago in my personal diary, here.

5 Bad habits of mine:

1. I procrastinate, even to the extent of putting problems aside till they get urgent.

2. I got jealous easily

3. I'm over-critical of myself

4. I usually neglect myself when I do something for others

5. I have a really really really messy room back in singapore

....in fact, can I add on that sometimes I put myself in a very busy and 'workaholic' state just so that I can forget my problem?

5 Good habits of mine:

1. I bathe everyday

2. I brush my teeth everyday

3. I pray before every meal

4. I take commitment for my words and usually put in effort to fulfill them

5. I make friends with people pretty easily

And you know what? I took much longer time figuring out what to write under the 'good habits' as compared to the 'bad habits' category. Try doing this test to yourself, write 5 good habits and 5 bad habits of yours each. See which category would be more difficult to complete for you. I would confidently say more would find that it is easier to write down your bad habits than your good ones.

Why is that so?

We live in a society that's highly judgemental and critical. As I've written earlier, I'm one of those people who are over-critical of myself. This cause me to be pretty judgemental about others as well, sometimes. For instance, seeing a dude who smoke, has piercing and dress sloppily, I would most definitely classify that dude as an 'ahbeng' . If you live in Singapore, you would have known that they are members of gangs who involve themselves in activities that break the laws. Hence, I've created a prejudice ( pre-judge ) against those who dressed up the same way too, when in fact, they could actually be nice people who possessed different behaviour from a gang member.

Anyway, the point is that due to judgements from societies and expectations from parents, we are more often than not, taking in negativity from our surroundings. Our hearts are more affected by negative thoughts. Our sights are more sensitive to negative scenes and negative words infiltrate our ears more easily. THESE ARE BAD! I mean, it is good if we have filters and we could turn negativity into positivity. However, most of the times, we don't. We became polluted and we tend to see things in a more negative way. Hence, we condemned ourselves and we take notice of our flaws more than our qualities.

From there, you can see why is it easier for us to get associated with our bad habits than our good ones. :/

uh oh.. if that's the case then how do we change?

There are definitely more than one way.

Firstly, is to have a filter. For example, by being a Christian, prayer can be your daily filter, allowing the right mindset to be inflicted into your head.

Another form of filter could be your parents, but in my opinion, to be very very very honest, parents could be a double-edged sword. They can build us with good values and teaching, but sometimes they also destruct us with too much..______ whatever that is, each people have different experiences and I wouldn't say mine out loud here.. haha!

Next, is to forever be aware of our stand. But again, this is really hard. It depends on each individual too. Those people who are self-motivated (unlike of me -__-) could always remind themselves and depend of themselves to change. Yet for some people(like me) I usually need other's support and encouragement to remind myself. For example, people need to constantly remind me that I'm _____ so that I will not go into a deep _____ state. To avoid being dependent on the wrong people, again, make group of friends whom you can really trust and are spiritually more mature so you will not be afraid to make mistakes and not have someone teach you how to correct them.

This is a pretty long post after another session of stagnation :( I promise I will write okay!

But now, time for some ride around the street :P

toodles!

being grateful

2012-01-27T11:01:00.003+08:00

" the grass is always greener on the other side"

I was sitting by the table, having my meal alone once again.

This time, it was breakfast.

This time, I was having nasi kuning bought from the neighbour 3 doors to the right.

This time, I was pondering about certain things.

I thought about how we all ought to be grateful about everything that have been given to us.

Well, initially this thought came about as I was comparing myself with someone who appear to have the perfect family condition, to me at least. How some people whose house consist of a small nuclear family is able to have more time with their family together, be closer and stuffs.

My family itself is consider quite big for a modern nuclear family consisting of my dad, mom, 3 little siblings( whatever, they're always little to me) and myself . In the house, we stay with our grandparents, a little cousin whom my mom 'adopted' , another cousin whom my grandma 'adopted' , 2 maids and a guy-helper who kinda take care of my currently sick grandfather. In the afternoon, my uncle's family usually come and play with us, that adds on another woman and 2 rowdy, naughty boys. All in all,,,, I don't even bother counting how many people are there in the house.

Anyhow, I shan't brood over how seemingly little time I spend with my family because I myself don't like large crowds. But I'll share a little about an insight I gained over my breakfast this morning:

Maybe till today/last night, I've always thought that I'd rather stay in a house with small nuclear family, mom as a housewive and dad who's not always travelling. And sometimes, I'm just... feeling really unappreciative and ungrateful. But I realized something after last night (which I reviewed this morning during breakfast) That we function with things/situations/people/environment that has been thrown to us, but we ought to be humble and be grateful about it!

A perfect scenario I could think of is the quality time I had with my mom last night while she was having dinner and I was about to take my medication. So seeing my mom dining alone, I approached her and sit beside her. So we talk about a great deal of stuffs, adding on to the list of 'things I know but pretend not to know'. But the content of the short half an hour conversation was great. I am really grateful for that short half an hour. And I'm satisfied. I don't need to have this everyday, but a once-in-a-while kind of quality time is enough for me.

So I thought, those people with a small, nuclear family may spend a lot of time together, but not neccessarily quality time. They may see each other 24/7 a day but probably, as they see each other so frequently, the took it for granted and became ungrateful about it. So..I'm pretty happy when I discovered this :)

It's like another stepping stone I acquired, another step to getting to know life better.

haha!

that's that peeps.

I know I haven't been blogging too much recently, it's the case of writer's block. As I'm writting this post down, I have difficulty sorting out sentences and sequences too, so pardon me if it's not satisfying. I will try to write more often in this little space here, my next post is probably gonna be on motivation/my family.

stay tunes!

2012-01-22T00:50:00.002+08:00

I should've been writing something down here that's more constructive and well thought of, but I totally forgot about it the moment I turned on this macbook pro I'm using right now :/

Supposedly, I'm to help vina with her thesis, but my brain is dead now after reading only like a few pages so I'm so gonna take a rest and continue tomorrow.

I think it's been some time, I've been neglecting my blog. The next time, I'm gonna concentrate and put more thoughts into blogging. :)

love you, bloggie.

rieka

bittersweet

2012-01-18T00:38:00.001+08:00

hello peeps!

been a while since an update. no, there is nothing much I am going to update in such a sleepy condition but I'm just here to say:

I luv CHIPPY! YAY!

pretty random and nonsensical much but wateva

underneath

2012-01-04T01:14:00.002+08:00

you. you. you. you.
me. me. me. me.

hello readers ^^

I really have no idea what to post on this piece of white screen, yet my fingers have the urging compulsion to type, type and type. So here I am, typing non stop and feeling clueless about what I'm gonna type next. Guess I'll just let my fingers do the talking.

Oh gosh, fingers? do talking? -.-"

I guess the boredom today is taking a toll on my head. Its wire is getting a little messed up right there and yes, this is the outcome.

But hey! It's the 2012 you see, I gotta stop chronic-ly thinking about things that don't matter and stop feeling hungry every like what, 2hours?

hmmmm, let me tell you something. I cheated. HA!
No one mentions which year after that date, am I right? so I kinda cheat a little and remove the seal. BUT, the force of my integrity is still stronger than my curiosity so after opening the seal I closed it back. Yep, I do admit that I peep a little at what caused the uneven surface xD

Fact: Girls are tougher than tigers. ROAR!

oh, look

2011-12-31T14:37:00.002+08:00

It's the last day of 2011!

2011: an exciting year that begins with an uprise in my social life, followed by spiritual, then emotional and now back to spiritual as everything else subsides.
2011: has been filled with lots of applications of the lesson I learnt back in 2010, not forgetting the tough decisions that I have to made.
2011: really, a year of dealing with tough situations ^^

&hey thereeeeeeee :D

no matter what, I still love you dearest! ^^

2011-12-25T03:09:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas!

hi all

2011-12-21T01:18:00.002+08:00

Blogging from Bali right now on my laptop connected to the wi-fi service in the villa.

So far....
Extraordinary experience,
Supersophisticated sunset,
Surprisinglysurreal sceneries,
Fantastic food
and
Wild water rafting !

All new experience, I'm beginning to have a shift in my outlook for certain things. But I'm definitely learning a lot from this trip :)

Day 3 tomorrow, I'll enjoy myself!

nights all :D

secrets

2011-12-14T23:27:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srXKfkMmo2Y&feature=related

haha hi,
I'm feeling nostalgic about the period when I just discovered this video, about slightly more than a year ago..

=.="

seriously, go away emotion.

endofyearblues :/

after that

2011-12-13T01:45:00.005+08:00

you know, I've came to a realization that you only knew who you are really with during prom night. It's quite blatant who are the people whom I will ultimately keep in contact with. The people I deem as friends.

Some might be laughing at me right now while reading this post. Friends? Really? Rieka's talking about friendship? Ha. I do look like one who flits around from people to people, never staying too long in the company of one group before I jumped to another. And oh yeah, not forgetting my 1 and a half K of facebook friends whom I've been deleting every now and then and one more thing, I've been adding on to my collection of unattended friend request too. But yeahh, you aren't reading wrongly, I have my share on this topic as well. :/

So this thought has been ongoing for th past few months, when I decided to withdraw myself from....people. It's pretty good being #foreveralone you see, the gist is that you have more time to think and you don't have to try to please the society because you will not even bother about how people look at you. Once you've made that decision. So this short journey by myself (factually, I'm not by myself because there's always this someone ) allow me to discover several things:

1. I've been much more specific about my definition of friend. And truly, during prom night I've understood who're those people who really sticks to me after going through 2 years in this college. Though, of course I'm not gonna mention it here, I do practise censorship afterall. haha.

2. Different people have different definitions of 'friends' . I've met people who became friends because of common interest ( things like lame jokes, mugging style, favorite music...etc ) , people who became friends because of circumstances or because they are placed in the same environment ( CCAs, PW groups, church, OG...etc) and lastly, people who friend others for benefit (these kind of people are everywhere! I just realized that...)

3. To deal with the 3rd kind, those who friend others for benefit, it's actually not that tough at all. I've actually been dealing with a couple of these people around me and initially I thought that they're tricky. But they're not. You see, since they are probably 'friend'ing you for a certain asset that you have, you can easily just appear not to have. A perfect example ( taken from a real life situation ) are people who all of a sudden tries to be your friend because they want you to buy something for them. The easy way to escape this situation? Haha tell them you're broke (and really, act like you're perpetually broke) and they might just stop bugging you one day.

4. It's so important that when you claim someone to be your good/best friend, the other party feel mutual about that feeling. I mean, you really don't wish to be caught in an embarassing situation of being denied by your so-called best friend, right?

bleah, I've totally side tracked, this is so not what I planned to write at the beginning. But still, it came off under th topic of friends, still, right? oh well, let's see if my brain could finally function again after a long period of deterioration that has been haunting my life for the past few weeks. :/

that's that peeps, toodles!

what's better

2011-12-12T14:17:00.002+08:00

than being able to see the face of the person you've been wanting to see for days
and getting a surprise what's app text from your bestfriend who's thousand of miles away.

These 2 people, I miss the most

And today, I'm blessed

^^

Day3, absence makes the heart....

2011-12-11T00:46:00.003+08:00

no, not grow fonder.

absence makes the heart ponder.

ponders about every seconds,
minutes,
hours,
days....
and soon, weeks
of the absence of that particular subject.

and the challenge, is getting tougher
by days.
it's only just the 3rd.

hope. faith and love.

.

2011-12-09T02:04:00.001+08:00

once again,
i've thought of something to blog but once I open this page, my mind goes blank.

-.-"

so for now, toodles guys!

till we meet again, when my brain decided to function.

2011-12-05T01:50:00.001+08:00

thanks for confirming with me, double confirm.
That I'm a selfish, disgusting, conceited girl who only thinks about herself.

of all people, thanks for being the one.

20 top memories

2011-12-01T03:11:00.002+08:00

okay, I have a deal to make 20 top memories in TPJC. ( not in order of most important, more of which came to my mind first )

1. "my corner" outside lt2 where we ponned mdm selvarani's extra chem lesson
2. staying back till late night to do GPP and WR with TP154 while waiting for TCY to be done for softball training ( by then we are finished with out pw meeting )
3. practising for soul night audition at Robin's house. I still have our video in my phone.
4. buying chem notes and receving msgs from top chem student in class to remind me to buy chem notes (Y) you know who you are.
5. sitting at the amphitheatre outside hall every morning with og4 before the current J1s came and took out spot
6. missing the 1st ever econs lecture with Bing kun, Darren, Harith ( or refer to my archive on february 2010 at the side )
7. sitting at elevated tables at the canteen extension with girls that I USED to hang out with. laughs.
8. trying out laksa at different places ( only 2 so far ) and eating horlicks Mcflurry xD wow fast food!!!!!
9. orientation 2011 with sharon, keith, moses and of course cute little og16 kids!!!!
10. this year's valentine's day
11. lan with og4 and some outsider after college run last year
12. going to pasir ris beach with the couple in class and having 'the talk'
13. doing WR
14. staying back after school everyday for study session with smart asses after getting back midyear results last year that causes so so so much disappoinment
15. actually, siyuan's hugs and small talks we have last year.
16. ms.young's GP lessons
17. being called ' very smart ! ' by mr.TJT
18. just, having PW meeting every friday
19. actually....just PW
20. last day of wearing my tpjc uniform, one which I can't wear anymore because of the pink writings at the back

That's that bro! review please!

short, while.

2011-11-30T05:26:00.002+08:00

A LEVEL IS OVER YEAH!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Realized it's my last time in TPJC uniform. now it's filled with some pink writings ( and yes, sick drawing too ) -.-"

nevertheless, today was pretty enjoyable.

I'm liberated like hydrogen gas that is produced from acid+metal reaction. xD

k, nuff bout th nerd jokes for now. hehe!

2011-11-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

I wanna be a delocalized electron.

:)

i am a flower quickly fading

2011-11-23T18:01:00.003+08:00

I love my life, and I like being myself.
But sometimes, I forgot.
Thanks, for reminding me.

Nope, there's only 1 Rieka in this world, no second one.
Don't know who is she.
Who is she that the Lord of all the earth would care to know her name.
Would care to feel her hurt.

Who is she?

Thanks, for making me realize.
It's not because of who she is.
Not because of anything that she has done.
It does not matter who she was.
You don't need to know who I was from my past.
That, does not matter.

It's because of what He did.
Because of who He is.
Because of who You are.

I'm just, a flower,
quickly fading...

failed

2011-11-22T18:09:00.002+08:00

:/
apparently I didnt manage to get my #foreveralone moment!
I saw kids and played with them @playground otw home.
Then, after about 10 minutes in the room, my roommate came home.

there goes my #foreveralone timeyyyyyyyy
:O

But fact is, it's still so easy to feel #foreveralone even in the midst of people.

In fact, I feel so almost the whole of today.

geeeeezzzzzzz

^^

title.

2011-11-21T13:40:00.002+08:00

Ironic when you say 'us' but you felt like it's just 'me'

you'd wonder if you're the one who overestimate the situation or those people out there are the ones underestimating it.

and you'll wonder, if you ever want to continue doing what you do,
because apparently some does not see, does not act upon it and seems to think lightly of it.

apparently, people cannot see things in 2dimensions, they need the 3rd dimension to get the more accurate perspective.

precisely why we human beings are born with 3dimensional visual ability.

or sometimes, more.

2011-11-16T19:00:00.000+08:00

yay!

2011-11-16T18:20:00.002+08:00

funny things that happened today:
1.D205 classroom for Econs Paper
2.Got lost in tampines; got lost in 293
3.Walking down the roadside on a drizzly day, car drove pass and splashed a pool of water with super high velocity all over me

FUNNY HUH!!!!

rain..rain...rainbow!

2011-11-14T17:05:00.002+08:00

Sitting here in my room, alone.
" rain pouring like it's free "
music playing: it will rain by Bruno Mars

Today's so awesome ^^
I know, I know, I'm in the midst of A level and I shouldn't be spending time here blogging stuffs.
But today is too wonderful a day that I wanna take it down.

Rainbow, I saw a rainbow early this morning at 8+!
It was a beautiful rainbow, the colors were bright and it stretched from one of th big white clouds uppppp, and just end there all of a sudden :O
It reminds me of the rainbow that appeared on my bible when the seating position during FA is at that right lighting sometimes :P Pretttttyyyyyy. And the serendipity I acquire this morning started like this:
As I woke up from my very queer but ._. dream, I have this compulsion to go up to the rooftop garden.
The weather was crisp and breezy up there. It's like you can feel water vapour condensing on your face. It's almost like the weather in my dream.. haha except that this one's in the morning.
Then I pondered about that dream a little, while I sit on one of the benches. right then, I turned to my right and there it was!
I was staring at that beautiful creation.
Remember God's promise? ;)

I was a little taken aback.
It's been some time... and when I finally did it, God welcome me with such a beautiful celebration.
Who am I?

who am i - casting crowns

2011-11-10T17:40:00.003+08:00

then one day,
she just realizes that
she has lost herself.

stood by the window,
she asked:
Lord, who am I?

where's that compass,
she once relied on.
lost.

no sense,
of direction anymore.
clueless.

then He came down,
pull her close to Him
says: you are Mine.
she says: i am Yours.

but...through all these shield that devil has placed, hasn't my bridge been broken?
am I still Yours?

I am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow...
fading. fade. faded.

2011-11-04T01:29:00.003+08:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we're inadequate, our deepest fear is that we're powerful beyond measure"
Marriane Williamson.

sentiment

2011-11-02T22:36:00.001+08:00

somewhat, this song came across my mind while bathing just now.
somehow, it describes my exact sentiment.
each, and every line, almost.

2011-11-01T19:25:00.001+08:00

Just so long since I last poured out anything over here.

exactly 1 week to go.

&I'm not the least ready at all.

._.

fairy tales

2011-10-24T12:42:00.002+08:00

about quite a moment ago. approximately two years ago. I was dreaming about being a princess and all the happy things. But now, I've realized something else.

Princesses have princes who swoon over them and fight dragons for them. Princesses have the ability to turn a beast or a frog into princes. Princesses wears pretty, dainty clothes. But one one one thing, princesses, like Snow white, are meek and passively waiting for their prince to come. Like Rapunzel, they can only sit and stare in the tower, waiting to be rescued. Like Ariel, she has to change herself to suit her prince Eric.

"I don't wanna be like cinderella,
sitting in the dark old dusty cellar waiting,
for somebody to come and set me free.
I don't wanna be like snow white waiting,
for a handsome prince to come and save me
on a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
don't want to depend on no one else,
I'd rather rescue myself"

I'd rather rescue myself.

haha

graduation

2011-10-22T16:01:00.002+08:00

Before and after edit.

So finally, a complete group photo (without 2 missing members that have to be tagged at the guys' **** or an extra member that looks like a construction worker like in previous photos)

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it was the end yesterday. End of 2 years in TPJC. Realizing how much I've learned from this journey. ^^

Thought I would say a lot more, but I decided to keep it to myself. Not everything need to be shared, right? Some things are personal, and some things are only to be shared to those people who really care.

Some things come and go, some things will stay.

Some things, you know you'll never have.

Some things, you wonder if you'll have it, if you have chosen a different path.

haha.

productivity

2011-10-11T23:52:00.002+08:00

productivity

I'll make today a productive day by posting a blog post! ^^

Let me share something I observed today. It's about something I've always known, but only this afternoon that an event happened and struck me how significant that thing is. To receive.

:D

We all talk about how our society lacks compassion and the importance of little act of kindness around us. Indeed, little act of kindness is important! Giving is essential to spread the love in a cold and hard society! BUT let's take the alternative perspective. Could it be that the lack of love in our society is due to the reluctance of the netizens to RECEIVE love from others? YUP! That's the whole point. Something happened to me this afternoon that made me realize the significance of receiving. When we receive, we double the amount of love that was initially given by the giver. Remember Newton's 3rd Law of motion? A body will exert an equal and opposite force to the other body that exert the force to it. Let X be the amount of love a giver gives out. When he/she 'exert' that love to another person, he/she will receive the same amount of love too. When we don't take sign convention for this reaction, we doubled the magnitude of the action and we're left with 2X. However, if the supposed receiver refuses to accept X, the initial X 'exerted' will be of no effect and will just vaporize away from our society.

So one thing I learnt today: receive. ^^

Just something random

2011-10-10T01:06:00.002+08:00

This is just another one of those random thoughts I have.

Let's see, imagine yourself in this scenario. You're on your way to an important meeting. Maybe that important meeting is a business deal, a lunch with an old friend or just picking up your girlfriend from work. You were on a bustop. You've been waiting for the bus for close to half an hour. The bus finally came, you got up the bus. Up the bus, you find yourself in a deserted bus with only one girl sitting on the windows seat. She was gazing out of the window. Hey, that girl look just like any other teenage girl, with a converse bag, sneakers, some lipgloss, ponytails and earpiece plug into her ears. As you took a seat behind her, have you ever wondered that maybe, that girl is the next PM of Singapore? HAHA. Or perhaps, maybe she is going to develop an idea that could revolutionarized the world? Will you then say hi, get to know her, and have a short intellectual talk about your view of the crumbling system of the world's education system or the apparent deterioration of our Gaia? Hey, maybe something closer to the heart. Have you ever thought that maybe that girl was on her way to the tallest building in Singapore, preparing to plunge herself on an exhilirating journey down to the ground floor? Maybe you decided to say hi. Maybe you start a small talk about the azure blue sky and the little sunny smile the Sun gave you this morning. Maybe then, you actually managed to allow her to see the little things in life that the education system in Singapore has forbidden her to do so? Then maybe, she'll get down the bus 5 minutes after that short conversation you had with her, cross the road and head home to brainstormed the most powerful idea that could change the world. Picture that. ^^

Just one thing I feel like telling readers here, in case I die tomorrow all of a sudden and didn't get the chance to say this :O :O :O

You can make a difference in other's lives. Sometimes, just a small gesture can cause a U turn and create a reality that is so much more beautiful that expected.

And sometimes, a short 'hi' can lighten up someone's day :)

torment and pain

2011-10-08T16:32:00.002+08:00

&every single cells of your body pleading for rescue;

but you can only let their screams echo in silence.

overnight study session, wasn't effective if you're having an extreme fluctuations of mood and things you anticipated don't turn out to be the way they are.
times like this, no one else would actually care about how you're dealing with it, since they're dealing with the same thing as well.
no one would actually bother, even looking at you.

Just 2 things I really miss,
my home back in Indo and
my friends, you know who you are.

wywh

2011-10-01T11:07:00.002+08:00

Kenshin,Episode 14.

Just in case I forgot which episode I watched till.

Musical later, wishing all the best to all the casts and all involve in the musical! All the hard work will finally be displayed tonight :D

Actually, I have nothing much to blog about.
Life now is so different from ever.
Still surviving and sailing in this ocean called 'life'
Still paddling hard, still having the oar with me
Hopefully when the waves are harsh later, I still have control of the oar.

Let there be no fear and no worry. For both have come together and only aim to destroy.

wywh. guess.

unusually mundane

2011-09-27T17:58:00.002+08:00

Strange

As I've written before here, the word mundane is never the word to describe my life this year. Events, people, work. Pretty hectic.

Yet today, the day feels unsually calm and subdued.

I kinda like this feeling, not much of emotional turmoil too, unlike yesterday.

'nuff blows to keep me fired; keep my rocket going.

I hope you will too ^^

transition

2011-09-24T11:33:00.004+08:00

This is what I told myself when I got back some of my results

" suck it up, and move forward "

Sure, not very satisfying so far, but no point dwelling in the past or feeling inferior over the results of those who did better than you.
You yourself are aware of the amount of effort you put in, in comparison to those people, so no complain should be made.
It's the last lap now, focus is everything I need.

To PP, thanks for th breakfast this morning..Take care in Seattle and don't forget us ^^

So I met up with a couple of those peeps this morning and managed to discover another opportunity I could take on in the future. Medecins Sans Frontieres. Similar to something I want to do, so I'm just reading a bit and will just hang that on the list for now :)

On my way back, some random thoughts infiltrated my mind, as usual.

I happened to think about how too much of something, something you enjoy, might be bad. There are many ways we can define 'bad' . For instance, desensitization. And this is a pretty much common aspect that we experience in this modern, fast-paced world. Since everything is so easily obtained, it's not much of an effort to sustain the desire for that something anymore and people start taking it for granted. Haha. I figured, it all can be summed up in 3 steps.

First step is the Encounter. This is the meeting point where subject 1 meets subject 2. Where subject 1 is a person/animal/any random beings and subject 2 is another person/animal/object/random beings.

Second step is the Obsession. After the encounter, subject 1 started developing an obsession over subject 2. Obsession happens when subject 1 is constantly haunted by a desire and fixation for subject 2. There can be many reasons for a fixation to occur, but in this case I'm really just referring to an uncanny desire and liking for something. One simple example to illustrate this is sugar-craving. You get that strong urge for sweet treats despite being a sugar tooth or now. That happens now and then, doesn't it? So this obsession usually compells subject 1 to want to experience multiple engagements with subject 2. This prolonged engagements are what lead us to step 3, Desensitization.

Desensitization. And hey, in general term, desensitization might not necessary be a bad thing. Multiple interactions with a phobia leads to desensitization that will inevitably reduce the fear and anxiety towards that certain phobia one had. But again, my context here is desensitization that occurs when subject 1's constant interaction with subject 2 eventually reduces the initial excitement in step 1. This is the whole point of my thought process. When too much on an engagement is something that you really like will make you take that for granted and reduces its meaning for you. So this is just another one of my random, pointless thoughts, and it does not necessarily be true for all situation. I mean, sometimes even when P1 is true and Pk is true, does not mean that Pk+1 is true. HAHA!

^^

2011-09-19T18:48:00.001+08:00

feels like 9th of august. self-inflicted pain are the worst kind of pain.
one day, you're just gonna self-destruct and die.
^^

2011-09-18T09:55:00.000+08:00

One day, you're just gonna self-destruct and die.

reconnaissance

2011-09-16T01:59:00.002+08:00

This is it, I'm back to this period of the year, 2 years ago.
I'm back to acquire those unearthly hours staying up that swerve my life to the way it's been right now.
And I'm back to finding things I wouldn't want to know.

Life's so good, so awesome ^^

Oh by the way,
something is really wrong with me when I say that the best paper for prelim, so far, is maths paper, my worst subject in JC.
Just shows much I've deteriorated in my other subjects, so much that they've stooped and reached the same level as maths.

Oh well..
Just when I thought that when you start a day good, it'll end good. Sure, it does end good literally, but I always felt like my day doesn't end till I go to bed.
And this time, the ending doesn't seem that good. I just gotta do something to change the whole atmosphere right now. Maybe to somewhen approximately 5hours ago. SIGH. Nonsensical side is showing up, hope it's gonna get over in a few minutes.

toodles!

indifference

2011-09-15T01:35:00.002+08:00

Trying to sleep just doesn't help.

Anyway, I want to share 1 thing that I learned this year.
Not to care too much ^^

nvm, all of a sudden my brain cease thinking and all my train of thoughts have sublimed into the atmosphere.
But nevertheless, I'm applying and sharpening this that I've learned. In the right context, of course.
It's not always wise to care too much. And this time, I really don't give a damn.

completely out of phase

2011-09-14T11:33:00.002+08:00

When crest meet through, they cancel each other out, leaving nothing behind.

Or maybe in this case, totally different wavelength, not in phase, at all -.-

What's more to say, I've been explicitly expressing my sentiments (or rather a lack of it). Yet there're people who just don't catch it. It's pretty obvious, especially when it's not just once or twice, but many times. Even direct approach th other time wasn't successful. What more can I do?

When equilibrium is what I wish to achieve. Because despite the burden and annoyance given, the other side of me still reminded me not to be too conceited about what I have. That despite having something wonderful, it is wrong to condemn.

Anyway, someone's gonna call me a bitch for saying this.
We're so of different league, wavelength, zone etc etc whatever you call that. I can't communicate with you, so what's the point? Just give up and go elsewhere, this place is not for you.

And it's taken.

haha

2011-09-12T06:27:00.002+08:00

Hey.
It is true what someone said.

"While some things change for the better, some others get downgraded as the lesser beings. "

I got the epiphany this morning, when I thought back and look at the bigger picture. Everything changes.

&While someone's existance meant more to you, the existance of others, those who've always been putting you down, mean nothing anymore.

1.5hours more to prelim. Haha. But somehow I'm not afraid. Gonna let God take the lead this time, and not be afraid.

on a second thought,

2011-09-11T10:03:00.002+08:00

On a second thought, nothing has changed except for your opinion of me.
Everything else is the same.

No, not gonna bring myself down anymore haha.

fucking perfect.

2011-09-10T21:43:00.002+08:00

So now you know,

breathing doesn't mean that one is alive;
smiling doesn't mean that one is happy;
being perfect is a facade.

but life goes on, and life is more than just a stone in the pathway.
Life is about kicking that stone away, gaining the skill to destroy bigger, tougher stones.

Rieka is a strong girl, stronger than you think she is.
Rieka's gonna brace herself, stand up and move forward.

"I made a mistake, ask for forgiveness and keep on going forward. Even if I fall, I fall forward" ~Pastor Bill Wilson

superman.

2011-09-10T01:57:00.000+08:00

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

Its not easy to be me

2011-09-09T02:00:00.002+08:00

You know what you do when you are having severe moodswing?
Subway raspberry cheesecake cookies :D
Desperate situations call for extreme measures.

WOOOHOOO!

Over-elated again due to the fact that I remembered my subway cookies from dinner was still in my bag. Took a bite and felt the immediate effect of sugar rush. Blood filled with endorphin right now, don't even wanna sleep anymore tonight, so excited that I gotta blog about this right away before I lose the mood and sit on my swing anymore. Yeap, I was sitting on a swing. Don't push me, I'll fall. Hmmmmmm took another bite, so awesome! I can feel the sweet sensation in my tongue, like a child who just took her first bite of cotton candy. Yummy! This feels like the time mommy bought my first cotton candy in Primary1. Yes, I'd only get to taste cotton candy while I was in primary1. haha :D But nevertheless it was such a sweet, memorable experience. I remember savouring the taste slowly in my mouth, reluctant to quickly finish up the big, huge pink cotton candy I had. In the end, I took the whole afternoon eating that just 1 packet of cotton candy. Haha. Sweet stuffs (Y)
I have sweet tooth by the way (:

Thank you for the company, and not pushing my off my swing. Although frankly speaking, I've only felt better about th last 10minutes we spent. Haha.

toodles!

grey.

2011-09-09T00:08:00.002+08:00

Yes, it is that queer feeling once again.
Nope, not that I'm hating it or anything.
Wait, maybe I do. Or maybe I don't.

After weeks of feeling pragmatic and cynical about life and all, something happened that caused me to turn back to that old self. The unstable being, unsure of herself, angsty at one point and over-elated the next moment. It's these moments that the carefully arranged boxes begin to topple and mess up on its own. Like a tower collapsing upon a gentle push. -.-

Nah, no idea what I'm bloggin' about, once again. It's just random thoughts entering and leaving my mind like a dark, lonely pathway. What's worse, I can't seems to put the right words into expressing how I truly felt, making this post seemingly so meaningless as it's unable to convey the message and emotion I'm trying to convey. Blame my poor command in the English Language. Geez, I wish I'm shakespeare.

wait a moment, on a second thought, that might not be the only reason why my posts never truly convey my thoughts. Haha. I almost totally forgot that I practise censorship ^^

k, I'm actually regaining back my sanity. Back to earth Rieka! I'm not floating anymore. Ay. I almost totally thought that I've flown high enough to escape the earth's atmosphere, apparently I'm still held back by earth's gravity. It's one of those feelings you get when you're sitting on a roller coaster and it went upside down with high acceleration and all of a sudden the roller coaster came to a halt. Just imagine. And you're still upside down actually. For now, you just gotta decide if you're to remain upside down, or to take the risk and free yourself from the roller coaster seat, and jump back to the ground. And I haven't decided.

toodles!

2011-09-07T15:55:00.001+08:00

Ants crawling on your skin feels really, really itchy and it stings somehow.

:D

2011-09-05T18:10:00.001+08:00

itching to touch guitar.
A levels please end soon.

G
I still remember the look on your face,
Em
Lit through the darkness at 1:58,
Cadd9
The words that you whispered for just us to know.
D
You told me you loved me so why did you go
G
Away?

Em
Away.

Cadd9 D

G
I do recall now the smell of the rain,
Em
Fresh on the pavement. I ran off the plane.
Cadd9
That July 9th, the beat of your heart.
D
It jumps through your shirt. I can still feel your arms.

Cadd9
But now I'll go sit on the floor,
G
Wearing your clothes.
Cadd9
All that I know is I don't know.
D
How to be something you miss.

G
I never thought we'd have a last kiss.
Em
Never imagined we'd end like this.
Cadd9 D
Your name forever the name on my lips.

G
I do remember the swing in your step.
Em
The life of the party, you're showing off again.
Cadd9
And I roll my eyes and then you pull me in.
D
I'm not much for dancin', but for you I did.
G
Because I love your handshake, meetin' my father.
Em
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets.
Cadd9
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of sayin' something.
D
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions.

Cadd9
And I'll go sit on the floor,
G
Wearing your clothes.
Cadd9
All that I know is I don't know
D
How to be something you miss.

G
I never thought we'd have a last kiss.
Em
Never imagined we'd end like this.
Cadd9 D
Your name forever the name on my lips.

Cadd9 D
Oo-oo-ooh.

G Em Cadd9
So I'll watch your life in pictures
D G
Like I used to watch you sleep
Em Cadd9
And I'll feel you forget me
D G
Like I used to feel you breathe
Em
And I'll keep up with our old friends
Cadd9
Just to ask them how you are.
D
Hope it's nice where you are.

Cadd9
And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
G
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed.
Cadd9
You can plan for a change in the weather and time,
D
but I never planned on you changing your mind.

Cadd9
So I'll go sit on the floor,
G
Wearing your clothes.
Cadd9
All that I know is I don't know
D
How to be something you miss.

G
I never thought we'd have a last kiss.
Em
Never imagined we'd end like this.
Cadd9 D
Your name forever the name on my lips.
G
Just like our last kiss.
Em7
Forever the name on my lips.
Cadd9 x2
Forever the name on my lips.
G
Just like our last.

serendipity

2011-09-04T10:03:00.002+08:00

"when I go to bed, the last person I see is you
when I woke up, the first person I see is also you"

actually, I forgot what I wanted to blog about.
nvm ^^
bye bye.

this is for the beauty of nature

2011-08-29T12:10:00.004+08:00

The way everything had been placed into this manner, in harmony
Synchronizing the beautiful melody of the universe

The roots of a tree branch deep into the soil, so that it is able to support the tree.
The work from the hands of the artist is not just what is seen from above the ground.
But under the soil too, the artist create such beautiful intricacies.
The complexity of the roots;the most important part of the plant.
The exchange of gases by our respiratory system.
how He moulded us so that we are able to provide for one another.
We, give them the essence of their lives, the way they give us the essence for our lives
Everything fits. everything just fits.

knowing this, why do we continue to exploit the Gaia?
._.

BTW,
MANUTD BEATS ARSENAL HANDS DOWN 8-2 !!!!!!!
GLORY GLORY MANUTD xD

2011-08-25T01:05:00.000+08:00

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." -Albert Einstein

k,

2011-08-25T00:32:00.003+08:00

this is it, finally I get the right mod and moment to blog after so many days of stagnation.

Bloggers, have you ever felt like sometimes you are obliged to blog about certain stuffs because you know of certain people who're reading it, or perhaps, you're hindered from doing so because you're afraid of the repercussion that will arise when certain beings read your blog? Frankly speaking, sometimes I face these kind of situations. Like an idea pops into my head which compells me to blog really badly, but I'm afraid of how people are gonna view my posts. This got me thinking, and finally I came to the conclusion that this has all got to do with one of my biggest flaw of all....the ______.

Nah, I'm not gonna exposed to everyone what my biggest flaw is, you readers can guess and judge for yourself. Since judging is one of those things that human beings are really good at.

k, let's go back to why I even blog in the first place.
k, why? I myself don't even know.

k, so I'm having my alone time right here tonight, filled with peace after a passing hurricane of emotion about an hour ago. Living room's in solitude. It feels so awesome, just sitting here on this 'hanging sofa' with no one else around. Room's dimly lit with a yellowish hue and the fan oscillating a few metres away. This is the perfect atmosphere for..anything. This is the perfect atmosphere my house would have in 10 years time ( that is if i managed to finish school by then )
Anyhow, this state of calmness is so rare in the house. So rare that I could just stay up tonight to savour this moment of equanimity within me. But alas, we got to always think back about the responsibility and regulations that we are tied to. Things like, if I don't go to sleep in 15 minutes time, how am I gonna have the energy to stay back till 9 in school tomorrow. etc etc... So it's the issue of pursuing happiness by giving up happiness in life. How contradictory -.- in this case, both happiness certainly carry different meanings altogether.

Anyhow, IDK what the heck is this blog post about, it seems like a bunch of crap after I read it again. But anyhow, I'm still gonna upload this, it's been ages since I last post.

Let's end this post with a quote

"haters gonna hate"

just suck it up and move on. (:

the perfect date

2011-08-13T12:14:00.002+08:00

a windy night.
a bench.
silence.
stars.
you.

more than perfect.

2011-08-09T15:57:00.001+08:00

self-inflicted pain are the worst kind of pain.

that girl

2011-08-08T12:52:00.001+08:00

Oh tonight I'm feeling fine
I'm alone just wasting time
no Friday movie nights or romantic candlelight

I'm just having conversations
with the thoughts in my head
all I hear are angels crying
oh won't they just sing instead

It would be wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her
that I love her more than life
more than life, love her more than life

Honestly, this won't do
how is she doing?
I tell myself I'm feeling swell
but I know I'm such a fool
I'll just take it as a new beginning
but you know I don't feel that way
who will take all this pain away?

I know it's wrong for me to say

Chorus

Talk about a sin
was the day I walked into the other side
I would run back in
I wouldn't waste no time

I know it's wrong for me to say

Chorus

VERY NICE! So I'm addicted to this song. :O
oh, I think purple is a romantic color. haha!

untitled

2011-08-07T22:21:00.002+08:00

Heisenberg's uncertainty principle states that the more precisely the position of a system to be determined, the less precisely the momentum can be known simultaneously, vice versa.

So, a measurement inevitably disturbs a system that's being measured. This got me thinking. If thinking of something is a form of measurement of that something, does it mean that thinking of something inevitable distort that 'thing' you're thinking of? This makes perfect (almost) sense to me. The more you bring yourself to think of a situation, the more possibilities you'll come up with and this largely distorts your view of the situation you're thinking of. Sometimes, it's better to not think about it and leave it all to God. We'll do our parts, the possible parts. Let God do the impossible.

"I don't mind your past, I mind mine."
Maybe this line isn't applicable anymore. After the sermon, I'm leaving all my past behind. It's a process to let go. A process to learn, how to let go.

volatile

2011-08-06T03:10:00.002+08:00

platforms for confession

With the rise of internet usage in our world, there has been a simultaneous rise in the platforms where we note down our feelings and thoughts. There're so many on the internet, blogspot is just one form of it. We're talking about the various 'blogs' that are available online and also other source of social networking sites such as facebook and twitter. Both constantly allow one to check updates and status from their circle of friends. With so many platforms available to speak out our thoughts, one constantly 'rant' by updating statuses and also writing them down on blogs. :O We not only have diaries, we have blogs and up to multiple blogs too :O

nvm, this wasn't what I intended to blog in the first place.

I've lost it, all the ideas that was generating in my head a while ago. You know what? It's just sleepiness kicking in now. I wouldn't be surprised if I wake up at noon tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow will be a more productive day! :)

Just one thing, to that person reading this blog, hi! :P
hahahaahahahahahahaahha

is anybody listening to her?

2011-08-03T20:30:00.002+08:00

Isn't it ironic sometimes, that you do things against your will? Yet despite knowing that you want to abstain from doing so, you continue the regular pattern and let it flow according to the situation. You have the power over the situation, but you submit to that tiny voice that's telling you not to? Why is that so?

In this case, I clearly know I have to finish 40 calculus questions by 9am tomorrow and I've only done 6 so far. But here am I, blogging (haha) and wasting my time away. I really need to finish that booklet. But I'm not moving, I'm still sitting by the laptop, typing away. Listening to Casting Crowns. Hmm, Casting Crown's awesome. Uh, back to the point. I'm procrastinating, and wasting my time. I failed a calculus test today ( oh and not forgetting stats ). 34 calculus questions are waiting for me to complete. RIEKAAAAAA ):

Remember the 5 seconds rule? If you don't immediately do something you thought of doing within 5 seconds, you will never do it for the rest of your life.
Okay, I'm off to finish calculus.

Ciao!

restlessness

2011-07-30T12:13:00.003+08:00

I have a compelling desire to go and spend my whole day in Kino today, after browsing through the array of books on the world's most famous equation online. By the way, it feels weird staying home on a Saturday. It's been the 2nd Saturday that I have no plans at all and time to get use to it! Mom just told me that I should bear staying home for another 2months because after that I will have plenty of time after A's. Little did she know that I've already had my plan :P This made me realize that I don't share my plan with my parents. Hmm, but teenagers don't share their plans with parents, do they? But, isn't integrating my family and bonding them together one of my aspiration in life? How can I do that if I myself don't take the first step to open up to my 'rents and let them know more about me? Haha. Something to thnk about for the rest of the day.

I wanted to write something to fill this space up, but hold back the thought.

so,
that's that.

haha xD

psalm 23

2011-07-25T00:08:00.003+08:00

THE LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You annoint my head with oil;my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

so I have a story to share about this particular psalm.
This psalm has been my source of strength whenever I'm faced with troubles and discouragement in the form of loneliness. Apparently, being a foreign student you're 'forced' to live on your own and being independent since you were young. I guess this is a virtue of mine that most of my friends would've known. However, sometimes it's inevitable that people feel lonely even in the midst of a big crowd -.- there's a distinct difference between the word alone and lonely. One is the physical state of being on your own. The latter is a feeling of isolation and exclusion. This particular emotion (if you consider loneliness a state of emotion) is escalated if you're in an environment that's highly apathetic and lacking of social awareness. Not saying that everyone in that particular location is of the same kind. Also. if you're far, far away from people who actually do care for you. Anyways, the point is that I feel lonely sometimes and the peak was at the beginning of the year where everything was so busy. When all the orientation and stuffs just took place and although I've made a lot of new friends I was rarely around the people whom I used to hang out with. There was a new shift in the social paradigm and once everything was over ( like after J1 quest ) I was thrown back to the square one. Back to studying and classes and everything normal and... hmm wait well, isn't everything suppose to remain the same, no? Apparently not.
Geez, now I don't feel like elaborating this part at all. Uhh..
._.
Anyway, God made me come across this psalm one night while I was flipping through my bible. The first time I came across this verse was almost right after I came back from my long holiday from Indonesia in January. But it only occurs to me whenever I was haunted by that really uneasy feeling. And till now, most of the time when I feel that I need strength, this psalm reminds me time and again that God's grace and strength is there to help me pull through. No matter what I'm facing, in God, there will be away. Hence, ever since then I wasn't afraid anymore. I used to be really timid when it comes to being around a social place where I have to step outta my comfort zone and struck conversation with people whom I don't know.

Because apparently, I always thought that I'm weird and socially awkward ( well, confession: I still think I'm freaking odd-ish and queer and very very weird and I have a severe case of identity crisis ) Perhaps I am. But this psalm somehow assures me that it's really fine to be weird " for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me " I always interpret this as that if I made any mistake Daddy God is still there and in His eyes I'm still perfect. :\ well am I? haha. But of course I'm not gonna blindly make mistake and not learn from the grace that was given by God.

Back to the point, yesterday during YRC ko Willy shared about this psalm. I was like WOW! my favorite psalm zomggggg ( HAHA \:D/ ) And he explained the verse in a way that made me realize that there're a lot more to that psalm than just verse4 that I always rely on.

Psalm23:1 THE LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
hmm, made me realize something. God already provide me with all that I need, there's actually nothing more that I can ask from Him, everything's in His hand. Sometimes we made our own decision, because we think that it's the best for us. Just like me, I have my dream, it is one thing I cannot imagine not achieving. However, my dream has always brought me great distress, idk why -.- perhaps because sometimes I thought that I'm incapable of achieving it, it's out of reach. And sometimes I think that no one supported me for what I want to do. Or the great expectation my parents are asking of me. But yesterday's sermon reminds me that I can leave it all to God because everything has been prepared for me. I can only do my best, and God will do the rest. In fact, what's not achievable in God's hand? It was even in my prophecy last year, that what I dream of doing is what I will be doing. So the main point isssssssss: Trust in God's direction, for He is our shepherd and we're His sheeps. He'll guide us, directionless sheeps, into our place of comfort :D

And for those who need reassurance, read verse6. May God's power be with you! Even though you're alone in this world, remember that you have Abba Father, who will never ever forsake you! And yeah, it's perfectly fine to be alone, I really love being alone too :) you can't depend on other people but you can always depend on God.

Phew, first time ever I shared so much about being with God. I guess, sometimes it's find to let the world peer through the curtain of my window, just a little bit. ^^

BTW, some sort of insanity is slowly eating me up on the inside -.- It's in times like this that showing the aloof side of me would be of excellent use, though might not absolutely eradicate the problem. :O

P.S. Ninnart, here's for you:
:O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O

List of things to do after A's

2011-07-22T23:22:00.002+08:00

List of things to do after A's:
1. Learn to drive
2. Read the whole series of Harry Potter
3. Convince my parents to let me go Bangkok to visit Mamaruayyy :D
4. Take up guitar again, after not touching it for months
5. Work
6. Re-watch the whole series of Digimon Adventure
7. Go for a CSI marathon ( yes Ninnart, i'm prepared to get nightmares :p )
8. Play basketball. Hahahahahahahaha
9. Read, read, read, read~
10. Go back Indo.
......And the list goes on, I actually thought about it and have been talking about it to Ninnart almost everyday, but I can't recall some of them at the moment.
What's this? I'm actually looking forward to the end of A's but ironically don't want A's to come. Geez :/
Plus, I am reaaaaaaaally sick and tired of talking about A's everyday. It sucks.
Almost all conversation I have with people will be linked to A's. Every single day, I never fail to hear the letter A's in my life. Every single hour, people in school mention about A's. -.-
I might just get burnt out with listening to people talking about A's. -.-

Speaking of burning out, I think I got a little burnt a few nights ago. I don't remember even feeling stress for O levels. I guess, this time it's a totally different level. In order to survive, drastic measures have to be taken. And by this, I mean doing something out of my comfort zone, expanding my horizon, persevere in a way I've never before. Also perhaps, increasing my confidence level.

back to square one

2011-07-12T23:11:00.002+08:00

So now that Ninnart has gone back to Bangkok, my life is pretty much revert back to how it was like before.
)=
I wanna say I'm back to the mundane life I've had but I realized my life hasn't been that mundane at all this year. Ha!
Thanks to God, having me through all these trials and tribulations. So many things to go through, so many things I've learned, so long a journey in front of me He prepared. (:
Even though we've just said goodbye, it will not be long till we meet again.
'It's not the last goodbye' as quoted from someone who told me this today.

Right now, it's time to concentrate on the current things in my life.
Studies. Friends. Family. and most importantly God.
And to get away from distractions that will refrain me from reaching my dream.

^^

mmrs

2011-07-08T01:36:00.003+08:00

thnks fr th mmrs

kenapa waktu harus berlalu begitu cepat saat kita sedang menikmati sesuatu.
kenapa orang harus berubah dan ikatan persahabatan bisa renggang.
kenapa sebagai manusia kita harus hidup dengan ingatan dari masa lalu,
bukankah lebih baik bila kita bisa menghapus apa yang terjadi di masa lalu dari ingatan kita, dan hanya melakukan segala sesuatu untuk masa kini dan yang akan datang?

karena semua yang terjadi di masa lalu telah membuat kita siapa kita sekarang.
dan tidak semua hal dari masa lalu itu hal yang pahit dan menyedihkan.
nggak, tidak semua hal dari masa lalu itu menyedihkan kok..
cuma, pada saat kita mengingatnya, mungkin kita jadi kepikiran.
kenapa apa yang kita miliki sekarang, tidak sama lagi seperti dulu?

Praisely and Praisya's back in Indo now ):
I'm starting to miss them already, had so much fun over the long weekends, especially our trip to USS! it's not gonna be elaborated because I'm the kind who thinks that good memories can't merely be described with my words due to my limited vocabulary. Nevertheless, it's really an enjoyable day for us all ^^

And on Wednesday, NINNART finally arrived! Yesh, she arrived while I was doing my maths paper 1, which was kinda screwed. We had a gathering, sort of like a 2A gathering with Mr.Yeo and Mrs.Ng and her husband along (note the word 'sort of' ) :X in j8. Gosh, so much excitement within 1 week. On the way to meet Ninnart was like on my way to meet Praisely last Friday. A little calmer because Hidir was right next to me throughout the whole busride. Lucky thing :)
Chatted over the dinner, had fun. Till pp, praisya and I went to meet Ninie, Leo and c Florence at novena for dessert.

I was thinking, when can we have this again?
When's the next time? kapan lagi..
After this year, more of us would be segragated. We'll keep in contact, I know. But the distance is growing apart from everyone. Sure, technology like internet has transcend space and will keep us connected. But it's always different when we all just sit on a long table, chatting away and laughing happily. Gonna be so different if we all separate even further. When'll be the next time? makes me wonder if technology brings us together or sets us apart truly. haha. ( This feels like a paragraph in GP essay -.- )

When you're going through life, you meet lots of different people. They come and go, but there'll be some who'll stay. Those who stayed, are the ones I will keep for the rest of my life. Those people, they showed me what true friends are in the midst of people who destroyed my confidence of the existance of true friendship. Those people, they're my true friends.

with love,
rk.

semua kan indah pada waktunya

2011-07-03T23:46:00.003+08:00

I really like reading your blog, inspirational blogger no.1.

(:

HAHAHAHA.

Okay, before physics paper, I was looking forward to 4 things to the end of the week.
1. End of my SA2 ( I am prepared to fail all of my subjects. Hmm, wait. Am I really prepared? )
2. Praisely's coming to Singapore! ( alright, mainly th blog post will be about this )
3. Ninnart's coming this wednesday!
4. hmm :)

So..a large part of th weekend was spent with Praisely and Praisya :D And we're going to USS tmr morning. woohoo! Finally! I'm going to universal studiossssssssssss (Y) so let me share from th start how life has been since PP is back.

After exams and a short outing with s28 peeps where we watched transformers and lunchie, I headed to airport to meet them. Praisely, mr.lee and mrs.Annabel LEE. :) On my way towards airport, I was really excited. It's the kinda butterfly I get when I met up with Ninnart last year. Soooooo unlike Maruay's coming, because his spirits are always hanging around trellis, finding food. So anyways, met them at Mcd in T2 and PP showed us a number of photos and shared his stories there. We hanged around airport and look for Lianyi's birthday present till Praisya arrived at like, 7ish? And we dine and it was fun.

In fact, it's not just pp that I havent met in a long time. The last time I saw Annabel, Benedict and Chingleong was ages ago too. Nostalgic much!

Anyways, Saturday we went to Lianyi's place for her birthday party+housewarming. Gotta leave early though, because I had usher duty in church. I was late. However, I really enjoyed this Saturday's YRC service very much. The worker's prayer before service started cleared my mind and I felt that a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulder. The rock in my heart a few days ago seems to be taken away. I experienced a sense of blithe and peace that I havent felt in a long time. The songs sang during praise and worship..

They really spoke of what my heart felt at that time.
" My comfort, my shelter
Tower of refuge and strength "
Never have I done a pelayanan with such a joyful feeling inside me, it's so awesome! God's so awesome!

The message brought across by the sermon too, too great to describe. I can't put into words what insight the sermon gave me when I tried to describe it to Ninie later that night. But it's really applicable to what I've been facing these few days. Glory to the Lord (y)

Later that night I met up with Ninie, Leo, Praisely and Praisya again at trellis. First time the 4 of us finally gathered together!
It's strange, the world is really small. I'm a good friend with my secondary school good friend's ex-housemate and I happened to know his roommate as well. It's a small world after all! After talking about each other to only either side of th party, we finally got to meet and talk as a group. It's interesting :) We even pranked Leo HAHA. Running around Trellis's staircase at midnight isn't something you do everyday!

It's fun, I felt like a child once again. This is the kind of thing we did in secondary school (: And secondary school memories are irreplaceable.

And today, met up with Praisely and the rest of the secondary school peeps again! :) photos photos+ polaroids. :D Hopefully PP will upload them, Lynn too. Hees. And as we walked around in J8, someone's name kept on being mentioned. All of us know that j8 is different without him. And if he reads this, hi Maruay! ^^ We miss you very much, and when we didn't have anywhere to go after dinner just now, we wanted to crash your house and say 'hi' to auntie. ):

Reminiscing the memories I had with them..it was really good. (:

I'm craving for the moments we had in Secondary school. I can't believe I used to want to get out of Secondary school so badly last time. Oh well, what's in the past can't be turned back. Finally, I've learned how to treasure the present before they turn into my past. This weekend is turning out to be one of the best weekends I had since very long ago. Sure, I'm missing out study time. However, nothing beats a cupful of tea made of this ingredients called friendship. I'm gonna cherish this time, before they run out

over and out (:

constellation

2011-06-30T11:42:00.002+08:00

sitting down in front of the laptop with raindrops falling on the panel of your windows and a bowl of steaming hot indomie rebus by your side. How am I supposed to have the mood to study?

Firstly, congrats for those people who have finished their exams, but remember this is not the end because ultimately A level is the one that count. What I'm going to say next is that, I've screwed up my papers. Maybe not so much for the first day's econs and GP. But definitely for chem and maths. Especially since the chem paper doesnt look difficult to me, but I lost knowledge of how to solve the questions. What a way to screw yourself, rieka :)

Physics is next, my most confident paper. But am I really confident about it anymore? When the past few physics papers I did haven't gave me satisfying results.

2011-06-26T23:03:00.000+08:00

sometimes when we touch - olivia ong

2011-06-25T14:59:00.000+08:00

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

i don't know what title to give.

2011-06-24T22:40:00.002+08:00

Inspirational blog no.2

So I found another inspirational blog. No, not that I just found it, I've started reading it since last year. This dude, reading his blog can be such a brainwash. -.- I had to stop reading before my mind is influenced by his great insights on things that are seemingly small and insignificant. However, some of the topics he brought across is pretty insightful, things I haven't noticed in the past. But so glad I found the 2nd inspirational blog :) a great addition to posts I read by inspirational blogger no.1 .

So talking about these inspirational blogs, I've come to notice that my blogs have been really, really dead for the past few months. It's like I've lost all my drive to blog about stuffs anymore. Other than random, microposts that carries no meanings or thoughts that I've really been thinking of. Oh well. Maybe I'll start blogging more often. And start thinking more often. Ha!

Well for now..

I just arrived from Indo today. )= Missing my family there already. 5 months to go and I'll be back! :) as someone said, it's the last drive! Gonna work hard and stop wasting time. ganbatte!

._.

2011-06-23T13:39:00.002+08:00

hari terakhir disini, males sekali klo membayangin harus balik ke sg.

mulai sekolah, ujian lagi. apalagi aku sama sekali belum siap untuk menghadapi kertas2 ujian minggu depan.

menghadapi org2 dirumah, menghadapi org2 disekolah.

haih ):

God I need strength untuk menghadapi semua ini.

Smoga di semester yang baru, aku diberi kekuatan untuk say 'no' to all the distractions I will face.

Kalau bisa, smoga di semester baru ga bakal ada distraction2 yg bakal mengangguku untuk belajar. Especially keep all the flies away. Haih )=

Udah saatnya aku berpikir kembali apa yg sebenarnya ku mau. Bagaimana cara mendapatkannya. Kenapa aku memilih jalan ini.

Smoga di semester yang akan datang aku ga bakal affected by hal2 kecil yg hanya membuatku bt tanpa jelas.

Berikanlah aku study time yg fulfilling. dan jangan terganggu oleh org2 yg sengaja menyakiti aku. Mereka hanyalah org yg tidak tau apa2 tntg aku, bahkan mereka sendiri pun tidak punya otak untuk memikirkan apa yg mereka lakukan. Tuhan bukalah mata mereka terhadap apa yg benar dan apa yg salah.

Smoga ga bakal ada org yg bakal kusakiti lgi kedepan, karena sudah cukup aku membuat org tidak bahagia karena aku tidak bisa memenuhi semua permintaan mereka.. aku sadar aku tidak bisa membuat semua orang senang dan pada saat aku mau mencapai patokanku, aku bakal ga sengaja membuat orang lain sakit hati juga. Tapi aku ga bisa kan, membuang cita2 ku hanya karena aku pengen membuat orang senang untuk sesaat. I've learned to look at the bigger picture, and not let small things affect my goal. maafkan aku yah.

5 bulan lgi, bertahanlah di singapur, kamu pasti bisa ^^

aja aja, fighting!

gratifying

2011-06-21T02:55:00.002+08:00

i know it's been super long since i last updated, but i really got to blog about this.

I feel so so so super exhilarated after solving one physics questions on oscillation which I spent almost half an hour on.

ha!

call me crazy or whatever, i feel super accomplished and satisfied right now, so i'm going to bed.

goodnight world!

toodles! :)

we'll do it my way

2011-05-18T23:46:00.004+08:00

we'll take a small step at a time,

down that long, tedious track.

we'll take our time,

life's not a sprint but a journey.

show me who you are,

and we'll take my way.

I'll do the leading,

to where we're gonna stay.

2011-05-13T00:52:00.000+08:00

IF HE DOESNT CHASE YOU WHEN YOU WALK AWAY, KEEP WALKING

And see how far YOU can go :D

a short testimony...

2011-05-13T00:39:00.000+08:00

for the past few days, it has been pretty angsty for me. yeah well, you can see it very well from my previous posts. seems like everything's going wrong and i was fighting hard to survive on my own. i try try try to rely on myself but i fail fail fail. until that morning when i decide to surrender to God. the very very uncanny calmness that surrounds me all of a sudden was something that i havent experienced for some time.. it was like last year this time, then the song was playing on my head all over again. it's like an alarm clock that woke me up from all the daze. truly, nothing else is more powerful than our heavenly Father up there. i'm so very thankful ^^

we'll, rely on the one up there

2011-05-11T11:06:00.002+08:00

life is not a snapshot, we'll look at the bigger picture (:

hotstuff alert!

2011-05-09T21:24:00.002+08:00

INDULGE

Mario Maurer

(y)

2011-05-07T23:07:00.003+08:00

how fckd up it is.
when your day started with a surprise and ends with a shock.
and in between, it's filled with blocked nose, sore throat and fever.
all you wanted was to be alone but you have no choice but to face others. you dont wanna talk to anyone but you must.

thank you, i appreciate it very much, having someone like you to feel that way towards me. but i feel terrible seeing you sad.
do you remember i told you th few times that i cried and you were like " huh you so easily cry one ah " . will you guess that i will cry because of this too? i feel so terrible seeing someone sad, to the extent that i dont wanna talk to anyone today and i cried. i really dont like it, each time something like this happen. i feel obliged to do something. ): it's like this impending mania in my head. sheesh. if only i can call and talk instead, if i have my voice w me. this sucks like mad.

plus what my mom told me really fml upside down. why can't i go visit her for th last time? i didnt even got th chance to talk to her for th last time, now i can't send her away too. the last time i saw her was at hospital? when was that, almost half a yr ago? fml. why do this always happen to me, whenever i wanna do something, it's always too late for me to do so.

what am i supposed to do?

fuck'it

2011-05-07T12:36:00.001+08:00

(Y)

time

2011-05-04T20:15:00.002+08:00

never seems enough for me.
there're just so many things to do and i dont know where to start. I really don't have any motivation to study right now. Econs test is tomorrow. I already screwed up chem and probably not gonna do well for physics. It's not a matter of having too many things to do anymore, it's more about getting my priorities right. Recently I've been thinking about it, what matters and what don't. So I figured that I've been spending far too much of my time on things that are unnecessary and spending a whole load of my mind thinking of stuffs I shouldn't even bother about. But I'm obliged to do so, ain't I? I have an obligation. I realized that the more I seek for freedom, the more asphyxiating I feel. what's wrong? haha.

each time i think about it, i feel like crying. crying at the time i've wasted and moments i didnt treasure and memories lost. D:
things will never be the same w you, i guess.

hahahahaha

craving for something sweet

2011-05-02T15:33:00.002+08:00

you have no idea,

your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

2011-04-30T23:25:00.002+08:00

do you really believe? all that I said yesterday?
hmm.
do you believe me when I said a problem is only a problem when you think that they're a problem. do you believe me when I said I'm problem-free? I'm problem-free when I apply that theory (:
do you believe that I actually apply them?
I said so many things I don't actually tell people, you might not know me as the person I was yesterday.

:/

I wanna go that place again, it makes me feel so much better. do you believe if I really, really think that yesterday was a really, really great day.
I feel so stress free. it's my 4th favorite place in singapore already ^^
haha!

anyway, it's saturday. this morning, a saturday morning, it was raining. nope, it wasnt pouring. it's those gloomy rainy day where you dont hear thunder or see lightnings. it's sorta like the mod that rainymood.com gives, minus the sounds of thunder. yeah, it's sorta familiar. it's like that time. it brings back something that has been gone for so long long time. it reminds me of this time last year. those few weeks, those few saturdays were raining this rain too.

2011-04-30T00:42:00.002+08:00

someone asked me this question somewhen this week. "you spent so much time w me, and not much w them, are you sad?" hmm. Actually, not really, I feel fine. What makes me sad? I don't talk to my best friend as much as I did.

wish you were here

2011-04-17T08:26:00.002+08:00

I can be tough, I can be strong; but with you, it's not like that at all

My favorite song from Goodbye Lullaby is wish you were here(: but right now, I don't have anyone to wish to be here with me. what can I do to make more time for myself? I never like blogging about my feelings, perhaps that's why my blog is so boring and mundane. blogskins. I've been wanting to change them since mid of last year but I never did it ._. if only I have time to do it.

a few minutes ago, I just did something I really like that I haven't been doing for a long long time. i ran through michellephan's makeup videos. hey people out there, if you don't like her then don't comment on her videos and say mean things to her. ): just shuddups man.

today last year, was totally different from this year. or, was it?

2011-04-13T22:01:00.004+08:00

Dear girls,
do not shed tears for guy but instead let them cry for you.
for girls give and forgive and guys get and forget.

this is such an absolute statement, but I am so obsessed with it! get and forget. hah! sounds like someone. let me share my thought for the day. "good things are worth waiting for" From experienceS, I must be one person who ought to understand this statement the most. So at the moment I am really crazy over this thing call the ballads of mona lisa. I want to listen to it every single minute of the day. Like I get eargasm each time I listen to it. HAHA! However, someone promised me something even better, not just the ballad of mona lisa but the whole package. And I'm getting it in a few weeks time since it's not out in Singapore yet. Vices & Virtues. So each time I thought of it, I tell myself not to go listen to the song yet because I know that if I give in to my desire to listen to it each time, I will probably get tired of it already by the time I got my vices and virtues and I will not enjoy it as much as I could. (:

Right now, I shall slowly indulge myself in my goodbye lullaby!

because she's not rieka.

northern light

2011-04-12T22:17:00.004+08:00

I want to capture the beauty of aurora before I die (:
be motivated, rieka. strive hard to achieve your dreams. last national exam, might as well do my best and not regret.
you know, sometimes I feel that we're just an insignificant part of this whole system of the universe. we're merely specs of dust in comparison with the massiveness of the world. and I just feel like being random. haha ^^
take care, getwellsoon(:

lord, im amazed by you

2011-04-09T09:39:00.003+08:00

really, really, couldn't believe how surreal yesterday was. I couldn't stop thanking God for all that happened. It was so amazing. Even a few weeks before the release of pw results, I was already very freaking nervous. I was afraid of what I'll get for pw. As I told someone the day before the release of the results. "my groupmates are expecting me to get an A, but I know I wont get an A. But with the effort I've put in I really really want to get an A. this feeling sux. " you know how this sentence keeps on haunting me throughout the night. ): it's so dumb of me to let fear take over. fear is irrational. now I learnt to put my trust in the Lord. He has His plan for me(:

my motto still applies: if you want something, so badly that you put all of your mind into wanting it, you will get it. to a great extent, this applies very much for my grade. But now I realized, it's not the grade at all that matters. I talked to tcy about a lot of things on the process of doing our project last year, all the good memories. And the night before i talked to Jeremy about it too. I realized it's the good times during the creation of our project that I will remember the most. No matter how terrible and stressful, I really really enjoyed being with TP154. If I were to choose, it is one of the most significant thing in my JC life. I've learned so much things during the process, no grade can contain the amount of lessons I've learned. I really, really thank God for giving me this pw group, they are amazing. You know what? Our group mates are the ones with the most differing personalities, if you know us. Yet during the times when we were rushing our project, we bonded a lot and found joy in all the troubles. TP154, you guys are amazing. (:

Dear Father, I thank you for this grade that you have given me. It is so amazing, knowing that You have a plan for me Lord. For the first time in my life, I feel a tangible achievement. Thank you Father, nothing else can contain how I feel, apart from the grace that You have given me. Not just the grade Lord, I also want to thank You for this experience, the whole journey of being with TP154. Father your plan for me is indeed so wonderful, I've learned so much from it. No words can describe how grateful I am to You Lord. Thank you Father for the miracles you put in my life. Let me grow more in your Lord, teach me how to put all of my trust in Your hand for only you can give me strength. In Jesus name, amen.

2011-04-05T21:54:00.000+08:00

I managed not to use my laptop for 1week plus! (y) what a great achievement. This is like last year, after getting midyear results. Almost nostalgic. :/ I hope this time round will be the last time I got disappointed at my results. No more hurting yourself with disappointment, rieka! :D Everything's been busy and well, pretty good. I know well that I can't appease anyone, so just let them be :P you know there's something about love that makes you go..HAHAHAHAHA

eloquent.

2011-03-26T11:49:00.002+08:00

It amazes me when people takes up the effort to start a conversation with me(:
even though there seems to be no specific content to talk about, it might lead you to...getting a P!ATD album :P If that person is randomly feeling like giving prezzie. ^^ But I've been getting quite a lot of freebies recently :\ feel like a cheapskate materialistic girl, am not okay. Nvtheless, thanks PK for the Goodbye Lullaby! :D

2011-03-24T18:41:00.001+08:00

2011-03-24T00:13:00.002+08:00

I dont care what people will say, i'm running after You.

you can dislike me for the way I act, it's the way I am. you can dislike me for th way I talk. (: or my choices. or what i like. I'm created by my God, it's the way I am. i'm not affected, for I'm proud to be who I am. judge me, you don't matter to me. it's cliched, but ''those who judge don'tmatter and those who matter don't judge ''

physics on friday! yes I can do it ^^

600th

2011-03-22T22:39:00.003+08:00

My 600th post! here's one for you.

Sorry Praise, no recent photos with you in my laptop, ): this is th most recent one. Plus I have to add in FB's fat face heree. oh wells. after exam i will post a better picture of us ^^

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PP!

Wish we can celebrate your birthday like last year, but you're so far away ):

Let this day be a blessed day for you, and may your 18th year be filled with smiles,joy and laughters. (: happy blessed 18th.

Loves, rk.

2011-03-18T12:49:00.001+08:00

love. prints. (:

misunderstood

2011-03-17T00:56:00.002+08:00

you wanna know the truth? you create the chance, not me. it's in your hand. it's up to how much you want something, in order to get something. ( well in this case, someone )

let the light shine on me, my Lord.
lit up the room, envision.
clear the path, from obstruction.
bring me closer to you, Jesus.

2011-03-16T20:17:00.002+08:00

Made a wrong turn

Once or twice

Dug my way out

Blood and fire

Bad decisions

That's alright

Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, missundaztood

Miss "no way it's all good"

It didn't slow me down

Mistaken

Always second guessing

Underestimated

Look, I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please

Don't you ever , ever feel

Like your less than

Fuckin' perfect

Pretty, pretty please

If you ever, ever feel

Like your nothing

You're fuckin perfect to me

You're so mean

When you talk about yourself

You are wrong

Change the voices in your head

Make them like you instead

So complicated

Look happy you'll make it

Filled with so much hatred

Such a tired game

It's enough

I've done all I can think of

Chased down all my demons

See you do the same

Pretty, pretty please

Don't you ever , ever feel

Like your less than

Fuckin' perfect

Pretty, pretty please

If you ever, ever feel

Like your nothing

You're fuckin perfect to me

The whole world's scare so I swallow the fear

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer

So cool in line and we try, try, try

But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time

Done looking for critics, cuz they're everywhere

They don't like me jeans, they don't get my hair

Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that

Why do I do that

Why do I do that

Yeah

Ohhh, pretty, pretty, pretty

Pretty, pretty, please don't you ever, ever feel

Like your less than fuckin perfect

Pretty, pretty please if you ever, ever feel

Like your nothing you're fuckin perfect to me

You're perfect

You're perfect

Pretty, pretty please if you ever, ever feel like your nothing

You're fucking perfect to me

10S28

2011-03-16T00:18:00.002+08:00

I didn't know some people read my blog, till they told me so during class bbq.
thank you guys for bothering to catch up with my boring life, especially whenever I've gone missing for too long. :/
I know this ogl and cgl stuffs have been taking up much of my time and I didn't spend that much talking to you anymore. But you know, at least you don't need to feel left out in the class and having to pretend to be part of it. When you obviously know that in the class, you're the odd one out. (:
But whatever!

Thanks 10S28, that night has been a good good night. It's been so so so so long since I last let myself lose control. Ever since I came to JC, everything has been about control. trying so hard to control my timing, my life, and especially my emotion. 2cans of redbull, rum and breezer really turned me 180degrees. turned me back into that girl in beige MF uniform.A totally different girl from the girl wearing apple green TPJ uniform D:
letting lose that night was a great change. ^^
whee! :D

something super weird happened today. made me feel super weird too.
if he really cares, he will persevere right? if not, he's not worth it right?
haha! let's not think too much ((:

it's all good (:

2011-03-14T11:44:00.003+08:00

tired!

and still tired :D

I got back from the 25hours quest on saturday! tiring much. took 11s10. great class, fun people (: tho I miss og16 too! aww. and of course og4 of 2010!

i really dont know what to blog, not like anything's too interesting to talk about anyway. hmmm. oh! let's see. yesterday.

I had FA in the morning and then met up with bryan after that to study and visit sharon in novena! (: that girl, she really should rest and not tire herself out too much! D:

So this really weird thing happen while I was on my way home from toapayoh mrt. I walked out of th mrt station and felt a tap on my shoulder, turned around and saw a stranger guy.
this guy told me this :
I know I will regret if I dont say this because the moment I saw you I know I want to get to know you. ( WTF?! )
LOL.
I thought he is one of those sales advertisers targeting young teenage girls. Then he asked me for my name and if I'm th sporty type. Waiting for him to take out some poster/brochurre about sports or something like that. But instead his friend suddenly approached us and he started to introduce himself. o.0
Next, they both started asking me if I would like to go for a coffee someday. And then one of them suggest that I'm too young for coffee. ( fyi, i'm addicted to starbucks )
I stared at them with my *raised eyebrows* look.
After about 1minute, th first guy asked, so Rieka, can I have your number? ( I was holding on to my dead, white-blackberry and spinning it while watching their whole weird conversation )
And I did this. put BB back into my pocket. raised both my shoulders and arms. tilt my head to the side. " duno? " relaxed my shoulder, said " gotta go! bye! " and walked away laughing.
:O
I think this is a stupid prank! like seriously? they are either freaking despo or have nothing better to do apart from pranking some stranger girl on street. geeez.
I want to laugh out loud when I heard one of th guy telling th other one " oh man, at least you tried "

weird people these days!

you will never forsake me

2011-03-09T23:38:00.002+08:00

God, teach me how to pray.
to turn to God in all circumstances, it's what I really need. right now.
I'm so confused ):
if only life has ceteris paribus. decisions can be made dependant on only one factor, while every other factors are kept constant. there will not be so much things to consider. it will be so much easier!
goshhhh stop whinning rieka.
-_____-

I don't know if I should be happy because I finally passed 1 test ( physics ) or be sad that I got 60 for physics. encouraging, knowing that I am still able to pass my CA1. but very very discouraging at the score given the fact that I could've done better. disappointing much D: plus it's my favourite subject afterall. gotta work hard for sa1! gambatteh!

sucky at the thought that SA1 is right after next week. And I already have plans to have fun. can't we just take a break?! D: but oh well, thinking about what's coming at the end of the year, A levels, I guess all these sacrifices and sufferings have to be made. rawrrrr. bring me back to life x.x

I wonder what will happen if I tell you something ^^

to my greatest admirer since sec1

2011-03-04T20:25:00.002+08:00

hey there dearest!

I know you're busy with musical and stuffs! jiayou for your practices alright? I wish I could see you perform again, just like year 2006's concert.

you know, life is like a turning wheel. you will be at the bottom, but you will not keep on staying at the bottom forever, for a wheel turns and soon you will be back up at the top again :)

I really miss you so much and I hope to really really talk to you soon ): so many things I feel like telling you but it always seems like there's no time to talk to you. I really, really miss you! I wanna have HTHT with you D:

everything will go well soon enough k, do not worry and have faith in GOD! :D

Lovessss,
the person you admired since sec1

2011-03-02T22:30:00.003+08:00

dear you,
you don't do something just for the sake of it.
it's doesn't work that way.
you want to do something because you have a passion for it.
you don't know how misleading it looks. the way the media and the public puts it.
it's not just about that. it goes in much deeper than that.
it's not as shallow as it seems.
just because you think you know what it is, doesn't mean that you can do it.
it's a matter of understanding it.

love,
me.

hate =/= don't like

2011-03-02T21:51:00.002+08:00

hate is a feeling.
don't like is merely an action of not favouring something.

you tell youself you don't like someone. you will not care about that person's action.
it is different from hate. it means you still have feeling for it.
which is suffocating, painful and may lead to impending mania.

good riddance, your riddance in my life has been a good riddance! (Y)
jijiiiiik bgt liat u skrg -.-

thanks maruay! you helped me gained a deep, deep insight today! (:

:O

2011-03-01T20:18:00.002+08:00

rieka! stop failing! what's wrong with my results T-T

)))))))))):